The Oscars were last night. They went from 7:00 pm to 12:00 am, and I watched all five hours of the action. By the time they got to the good parts, I had been holding in my bowel movement for two hours. My discomfort was not, however, the worst part of the show. Seth MacFarlane's "We Saw Your Boobs" song has that honor. While I found it to be amusing, it was definitely not the kind of thing that should be sang at the Academy Awards. But the rough patches didn't stop there:
-Jennifer Lawrence completely ate it on the steps walking up to receive her award (and then Hugh Jackman tried to help her up, which was a really cool/manly thing to do).
-Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy had a very long, very awkward dialogue about how neither of them have received any movie offers in a while, which I wish was true because I'm starting to get sick of both of them.
-Anne Hathaway's acceptance speech was really long, longer even than the people who got the hilarious "Jaws" theme played for them.
-All of the people nominated for the sound editing award (who cares?) had ridiculously long hair, showing that it is incredibly possible for bad looking people to be in show business.
While there were plenty of things that made me cringe a little, there were also some pretty awesome moments:
-The Les Miserables cast singing "One Day More" gave me just as many chills last night as when I saw the movie
-Shirley Bassey came out and sang the theme from "Goldfinger," which was cool.
-Ben Affleck's acceptance speech started out annoying and frantic, but became very poignant about halfway through.
-Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron can both dance pretty well.
-Seth MacFarlane tossed George Clooney an airplane bottle of whiskey, which Clooney then cracked open and presumably drank. That was really funny.
-Daniel Day Lewis' acceptance speech was the funniest thing that happened all night.
So there were ups and downs, which is to be expected. Now I've just got to wait patiently for next year's Oscars. We'll see how well that goes.
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