Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pet Peeve: People Who Automatically Think Something Is Stolen

I'm having trouble thinking of a witty introduction for this post, so I'm just going to get started: I dislike when people can't find an object or something, and automatically assume that it's been stolen. I know so many people that do this that I'm legitimately afraid for the future because we'll all eventually just go around accusing everyone else of stealing our crap. And no one wants that.

No one but this guy.
It's not that it's impossible for someone to have stolen your precious thing that you can't find, it's that it is at least 95% more likely that you just misplaced it (that statistic was completely made up and is pure hyperbole). And since you probably didn't have that item taken from you by some nefarious being, it really only shows me two things:

1. You are too lazy to search for the thing you lost,

which is fine, but

2. You are somehow uncomfortable with people knowing that you're too lazy to look for something, so you hide it by placing the blame on some imaginary third party,

which is a very poor reflection on you as a person. So don't just assume that someone else has taken the thing you can't find, go ahead and take a look around.

Now, where did I put my dignity? I swear I just had it.
This brings me to my next point (didn't think you were going to get a double-dose of pointless ranting, did ya, reader?), people need to be better about looking for stuff. If you're like me, when you were a kid you pretended to look for something for a while, then went and asked your dad to find it. This strategy worked great for the first eighteen years of my life, but I no longer live with my dad, so now I'm stuck with trying to find my own crap. This means that, since I spent my developmental years avoiding looking for stuff, I have no skill in this area.

Someone's got to help me find my binoculars eventually.

In the three years I've been gone from home, I've developed a relatively good system for finding stuff I misplace. I just have the following conversation with myself:

"Hey, so Past Me is a pretty smart guy."

"Yeah, he's probably at least as smart as Current Me."

"Exactly, so I just have to think about where Past Me would have put *insert object name here*, because I'm sure he put it in a place that Current Me would be able to find now."

"Sweet. Past Me is a genius. And really good looking, too."

"Damn right he is."

And that's basically how I go about finding things now. This doesn't really tie into my initial point, but I just figured I'd share that.

Also, how the hell are there this many pictures of good looking people in suits holding binoculars?!

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